Thursday, April 24, 2014

Hope

It has been a year. One whole year has gone by...very quickly I might add. But not painlessly. A year ago today our little baby Brasen went home to be with Jesus. I relive the accounts of that moment just about every day. Remembering every little detail.

I'm doing ok though. Grief is an interesting thing. Nothing you can quite understand until you experience it for yourself. I have felt the rest of the world move on, but try as I might, I can't quite seem to move past it. This year has been so hard on me. So many struggles and emotions. With time it has gotten better. And I truly believe that with the excitement of our little baby girl coming in August, that has helped me. God has truly blessed us with another baby. I can't say that I was super excited to be pregnant again when I found out- worried that we would have to go through the same thing again -I didn't think I could handle it. But our little girl is doing really well! And I am so excited to hold her! I have had baby fever pretty bad since I got pregnant. I think losing a baby makes you miss holding your baby and snuggling with him. Your arms are empty after giving birth. One of the hardest things for a mother to experience.

I have really learned a lot this last year. A lot about myself. A lot about Jesus and his greater purpose and plan in our lives. As this wasn't MY plan, this was God's plan and I am realizing more and more how NOT in control of this life I am.

We have all been given life by God. We can choose to live this life the way we want or we can choose to live it the way God wants. Whatever we decide, we all will have the same final outcome. We will all face death someday. Death, for the first time in my life, was very real. I was holding death in my arms. I had to come face to face with it. I realized that, yes, death has come, but Jesus has paid the price for us. Death has been beaten. We can choose to have eternal life with HIM if we repent of our sins, believe that He came to earth, died for our sins and accept His gift of eternal life. I know my little guy is up in heaven waiting for me. I can't wait for the day that I will get to see him again.

          For God so loved the world that HE gave HIS one and only son, that whoever believes in HIM will not perish, but have eternal life. John 3:16

I have a little story to share with you! This past summer and fall were very hard on me. I tried keeping busy to help the time to pass, but you can't escape your thoughts and emotions no matter how busy you are. I honestly, at moments, felt hopeless. The beginning of December we had our women's Christmas dessert at my church. I had just found out I was pregnant a week before, but hadn't told anyone yet. The Theme of the night was "Hope is Born". As the evening progressed, I really felt like God was telling me, if I was having a girl, to give her the name Hope. Because he has restored my hope. Hope in HIM, hope in life. Jesus has given us the blessing of Hope; spiritually and also physically, in the form of another baby. So, her middle name is going to be Hope!

Thank you, again, to all you wonderful people that went a long side of us last year. For your faithful prayers, letters, cards, dinners, money, etc. We were blessed because of YOU!


                                                       Blessings to all of you!